I'm in that very lucky position in my life where I can honestly say I love pretty much everything that's going off in my world. Yeah, I get stressed quite easily, and I haven't had a day off in about ten months, but I love what I'm doing, so I don't complain about it. Cos, you know when I sit down, I just think how lucky I am. From the fact I'm pretty much doing my dream job at the age of 19, to the incredible friends and family I have that cheer me up even when I'm being a bit of a miserable bastard.
I've had the pleasure of meeting some great people over this past six months or so. Including a lot of people that have had their dreams crushed big time, or just didn't have faith in their dreams at all. It really pisses me off that society has made so many people feel like this.
Before I got my current job, I'm gonna be honest, I was at that stage, so I know how it feels. I know you're probably thinking "oh come on, you were 18", and while that is true, I had truly lost ambition. I was pretty good back at school, I was always good at English, in the top few of my class, hence why I took on writing as a career, Everyone at school said "right Sam, you're gonna go to sixth form, do four A-Levels including English Lit and English Language, and then you'll do really well, go onto Uni, smash that and then..." Now there was two things that really annoyed me about this. First, was the fact that there was so much pressure for me to do A-Levels when in reality, I wasn't really a kid that enjoyed education. But the second was how they never really told me what was gonna happen once I supposedly "smashed" Uni. I mean, if they could tell me my future enough for the next five years, surely they could tell me what was gonna happen the following two years after that?
Anyways, those bullshit expectations that got put on me completely fucked me over - cos once I got to sixth form, I was pretty much the worst writer in the class - a room full of twenty odd English students, and every single one of them got higher grades than me. It was at sixth form that I got my first ever fails. The highest I got was a D. A fucking D. That was from a kid who's whole life was centred around getting A's and A*'s in English.
Long story short, I dropped out off sixth form after a year cos I found it well too hard. Now this really knocked my confidence, but, I was optimistic, as shit as the experience was - I had found a Journalism BTEC course kicking off the following September. "Perfect!" I thought, a course designed for what I want to do, and no fucking exams! Sweet!
Yeah, well, that ended up being another year of my life that I wasted, cos I essentially did a creative media course as it took them five months after the course started to hire an actual Journalism lecturer, and then the course got cancelled after 9-10 months cos there was only one other person left on the course with me.
Soo, that was two years of "Sam, you're shit." - which as anyone can imagine, knocked my confidence big time. Straight from that I went into a job where I was ridiculously unhappy, as I felt I was a target for bullying, even a ridiculously good wage couldn't keep me around.
Now that you've got to this point in the story, you're probably thinking what a lot of people think, including myself sometimes, "how the bloody hell did you turn it around?" Well - once I came out of that job, I had lost all confidence, lost all faith, and seriously my dreams were amounting to working in a coffee shop to earn enough money to buy the latest Robin Thicke album (I like his music, okay?)
I saw an opportunity with my current company come up, and it was my dream job. Seriously, nothing in my hometown could have suited me better - so I applied for it quicker than you could say "skinny latte please."
An agonising few months passed from applying to getting the job - but once I got that phone call - I had never been happier in my life. Because as excited as I was to be starting this job, it was more the fact this phone call had almost flicked the "hope and ambition" switch in my brain back on. My dreams suddenly came back.
People who know me will often have a go at me, cos I never have a day off. But that's for two reasons - 1. Because I love what I do. and 2. It's only through hard work and dedication you get where you truly want to be.
So that's why I stress myself out working from 10am 'til midnight most days. Cos I know in four years, I'll be sitting in my swanky office, working for either a men's lifestyle magazine or a record label, and I'll be happy knowing that all my hard work got me there.
If you have dreams - fucking go for it. Do whatever it takes to get where you want to be. Life is shit unless you're doing what you love. But if you have to put up with five years of no sleep, no social life, and hard work to spend the following twenty years of your life loving what you do - it is so fucking worth it.
Don't let your dreams slip. There's a lot of misery in the world. Work out what you want to do - and go for it. You'll only regret it otherwise. Let the things that pull you down fling you up even higher.