Self-Confidence...

Hey,

This year I've developed a lot as a person. Confidence wise and personality wise, my breakup earlier in the year was the best thing that could have happened to me. To get away from it all, I threw myself into my work, social events, and basically anything that would stop me from sitting at the flat moping about.

Because of this, I had to develop my social skills. I had to be more outgoing. And throughout all of this "finding myself" shizzle, I really started to become confident in who I am. 

See, I've always been the cheesy guy. I've always liked things that are a bit different to most people. And I've always been a bit of an over-enthusiastic person. But, it wasn't until this year that I was proud of this. You see, I used to kind of tone it down a bit. I'd try and play it cool. In my head I wanted to be one of those slick guys with the leather jackets, the slicked back hair, smoking a cigarette. Fact of the matter is, I'm one of those cheesy guys that pops his collar too often, bounces about like he's on something, and gets far too excited over a catchy pop hook.

Now I'm bloody proud of it. 

The few months after my breakup I developed as a person mainly because I felt like I wasn't trying to impress someone everyday. I could finally be happy with who I was because in a social sense, I had nothing to lose. 

I started talking about my love for pop music more. I started wearing what I wanted. I started being more "me."

I must make clear, my ex never stopped me from being "me." I stopped myself. I was so terrified of losing her at the time, I did everything that I could to play it safe, which was really stupid on reflection, but it felt right at the time. 

I've grown much closer to a few of my friends over this past twelve months. I've gotten closer to my parents again. And, I guess most importantly, I've realised who I am. 

A cheeseball. A massive cheeseball. Who loves pop music.

Much love,
Sam x